After more than 30 years hitting the gym and working with weights, I’ve learned a thing or two about what really works and what’s just a waste of time. Everyone has their own ideas about fitness, but I’ve spent decades figuring out the practical truths. My goal is to share this hard-earned wisdom so you can avoid common pitfalls, save your joints, and make real progress. These are the 10 essential tips I’d give anyone, whether you’re just starting out or you’ve been at it for a while. I learned these the hard way through countless hours of trial and error, and they’re the same principles I’d apply to my own friends, family, and clients.
1. Weight is almost meaningless
Okay, I know ‘weight’ is in ‘weight training,’ but hear me out: the actual amount of weight you lift isn’t always the most important thing. If you’re purely chasing strength, then yes, heavier weights and fewer reps are key. But if you’re trying to build muscle size (what we call hypertrophy), it’s a bit different. Studies have shown that whether you lift really heavy for fewer reps or lighter weights for more reps, you can build a similar amount of muscle. The real secret is taking your sets close to ‘failure,’ meaning you push until you can’t do another rep with good form. So, if building muscle is your main goal, you don’t need to constantly lift super heavy and risk hurting your joints. Aiming for 10-20 reps per set is usually a sweet spot.
2. Frequency is the forgotten key
Many people still follow the ‘bro split,’ where you hit one body part hard once a week. While it’s popular, I’m a big fan of training muscles more often. The trick is to manage your overall weekly workout volume. For instance, if you usually do 16 sets for your chest once a week, don’t just double that to 32 sets if you decide to train chest twice. Instead, spread those 16 sets out, maybe 8 sets per workout. Research actually backs this up, suggesting that hitting a muscle group twice a week is often better for growth than just once. Give it a shot – try training a muscle group a couple of times a week, keeping your total weekly sets about the same, and see how your body responds.
3. Don’t overthink diet
When I was a skinny teenager, I obsessed over every single calorie and meal, trying to gain any muscle I could. I focused heavily on carbs because they were cheap and abundant. Looking back, I went to ridiculous lengths to just cram food down. Now, I realize the body is incredibly adaptable. Whether you’re trying to gain or lose weight, I advise clients to make small, gradual changes to their calorie intake, not huge jumps. For example, a skinny teen looking to build muscle should aim for a modest 300-500 extra calories above what they need to maintain their weight, rather than just eating everything in sight. This approach helps build lean muscle without packing on unnecessary body fat.
4. Have a life
Building on the last point, remember that your life shouldn’t revolve solely around the gym. I used to be that classic gym rat, spending hours lifting daily and even hitting abs and calves on my ‘rest’ days. While I don’t regret the friendships I made, I’d now tell anyone not to be afraid of enjoying other activities outside of weight training. Don’t worry that playing basketball, going for a jog, or just heading to the park will make you lose muscle or strength. It’s important to do more than just lift, eat, and sleep.
5. More reps equals more muscle
We talked about how lighter weights can build just as much muscle. Well, doing more reps not only helps build muscle, but it’s also a huge benefit for your long-term joint health. Early in my training, I adopted a heavy-lifting mentality: low reps, huge weights, and intense techniques like forced reps or drop sets. I was constantly pushing with heavier and heavier loads. I got strong, especially in pulling exercises, but my muscle size didn’t quite match my strength. When I switched to more moderate weights and higher reps, not only did I start packing on more muscle, but I also saved my joints from constant pain. My lower back and hips thanked me, and I stopped dreading getting out of bed in the morning.
6. Stimulate, don’t annihilate
This tip comes from the legendary bodybuilder Lee Haney: ‘Stimulate, don’t annihilate.’ Lee, a true champion known for his aesthetic physique, never went to extremes with his lifting or intensity. He’d hit the gym, stimulate his muscles, and then go home. This simple approach is crucial for long-term progress. If you push yourself to insane intensity every single workout, you’ll inevitably face two problems: burnout and injury. The key is to train for longevity. You can’t make progress if you’re constantly injured. Focus on building sustainable habits rather than trying to ‘kill it’ every single time you step into the gym.
7. It’s okay to skip a meal; you won’t shrink
Besides my calorie obsession, I used to stress constantly about never missing a meal. I genuinely believed that if I skipped one, I’d instantly lose all my hard-earned muscle. Feeling hungry would send me into a panic. But the truth is, unless you’re starving for days on end, you won’t lose your muscle. Your body is incredibly tough and adaptable. So, don’t worry if your meal timing gets a bit off or you miss a meal now and then. What really matters is your overall nutrition throughout the week – your total intake of protein, carbs, and fats. If you generally hit your targets and eat enough protein, you’ll be absolutely fine. You won’t magically shrink.
8. Experiment more
It’s good to stick with a plan that works, but don’t cling to it out of stubbornness. When I was younger, I always did the same routines. Sometimes they were great, other times I hit a wall. While the saying ‘if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it’ has merit, sometimes you need to step outside your comfort zone. Even if your current routine is effective, if you’ve lost your enthusiasm, your workouts will suffer. So, don’t be afraid to mix things up! If you always do straight sets, try supersets. If you only run on a treadmill, hit the trails. If you do circuit training, add some heavy lifts like deadlifts or squats. The point is, always be open to trying new things, especially those that feel a little uncomfortable at first.
9. Form plus function
Lifting weights is about more than just moving something from point A to point B. I used to just focus on getting the weight up, even if my form wasn’t perfect. But there’s a huge difference between just ‘form’ and ‘function.’ Form is about moving safely and correctly. Function, however, is a deeper mindset. It means thinking about the entire movement, from start to finish, and really feeling the exercise in the target muscle. It’s about training your body, not just lifting weights. When you master function, you develop better body awareness and overall strength. It takes practice, but combining good form with a focus on function will keep you injury-free and allow you to keep lifting strong for many years.
10. Done is better than perfect
A great strength coach, Dan John, has a brilliant way of looking at workouts. He talks about ‘park bench’ workouts and ‘bus bench’ workouts. A park bench workout is when you’re not in a rush; you just sit, relax, and enjoy. A bus bench workout, however, means you’re ready to go somewhere, waiting for that bus to take you to a new destination. Dan suggests that most of your gym sessions should be ‘park bench’ workouts. You go, get a solid workout in, and then head home. You’re not chasing personal records or trying to lift the heaviest weight ever. It’s about consistent effort without the pressure to always be pushing limits. Then, on fewer days, you’ll have your ‘bus bench’ workouts. These are the days you go all out, try to set new records, and really push for big progress. If every workout is a ‘bus bench’ session, you’ll burn out fast. By having more ‘park bench’ days, you create space to recover and build up the energy and intensity needed for those truly challenging ‘bus bench’ days. It’s all about creating sustainable habits, not just ‘killing it’ every single time.
These 10 points sum up the most crucial lessons I’d share if I were your personal coach. I’ve spent years experimenting, making mistakes, and learning what truly works. What I’ve realized is that getting stronger and fitter isn’t some complicated puzzle. It really comes down to following good advice, staying consistent, and putting in the hard work. So, happy lifting!