Many people chase success, but often they focus on the wrong things. The glamorous "success stories" we hear are usually just good marketing. If you truly want to achieve something great, you need to look beyond the hype.
Let’s be honest: most "success stories" are often exaggerated or simplified. We hear about incredible journeys like Jack Ma being rejected by KFC, Steve Jobs living off temple meals, or Halle Berry staying in a homeless shelter. These are compelling tales, but here’s the catch: the success itself usually happened before the dramatic story was told. For every one of these inspiring narratives, there are thousands of people who tried and didn’t make it, and countless others who achieved great things without any fanfare. We love these dramatic narratives because they make us feel good, appealing to our desire for something special. But the truth is, real success often comes from a lot of boring, repetitive hard work, not some thrilling adventure.
As James Clear puts it, "The only way to become excellent is to be endlessly fascinated by doing the same thing over and over. You have to fall in love with boredom."
If you let your ego guide you by chasing a "story," you’ll likely create obstacles for yourself. You might expect to instantly have a perfect relationship, be an expert in your field from day one, or land your dream job without any effort. These expectations are pure fantasy.
So, if success comes before the story, what exactly comes before success? It’s about having the right mindset to improve daily. The philosopher Epictetus wisely said, "If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid." Starting something new is always a mixed bag. When I first started writing, I earned practically nothing and felt totally unskilled – which was true! But that’s completely normal. Think about it: when you try a new recipe, begin a new job, or swing a golf club for the first time, you won’t be an expert. You’ll be a beginner, knowing very little, and that’s actually a wonderful thing. This "beginner’s mindset" allows for huge growth because you’re open to new ideas, eager to learn from others, and humble enough to admit mistakes and strive for improvement. However, this helpful mindset can disappear when your ego takes over. You might stop putting effort into your relationships, disregard helpful advice at work because you think you know best, or shut yourself off from new ideas, believing you’ve found the perfect solution. This kind of thinking limits your perspective, causing you to lose what Zen Buddhists call "Shoshin," or the "beginner’s mind" – the ability to approach every situation with fresh eyes, even if you’re already very experienced.
As Shunryu Suzuki wrote in "Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind," "If your mind is empty, it is open to everything. In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert’s mind there are few."
So, how do you hold onto that beginner’s mindset and all the incredible chances for growth and success it brings?
- Always explore all options first. When you’re trying to solve a problem, your brain usually does two things: comes up with ideas, then checks if they’re any good. Without a beginner’s mind, these steps often get mixed up. Your inner critic might shoot down promising ideas before they even have a chance to develop. You might hear yourself say, "This will never work," or "It’s too much effort," or "I can’t do it that way." This self-censorship can cost you brilliant breakthroughs. Imagine if the PayPal founders had dismissed their idea, thinking "internet money" would never catch on! Instead of immediately judging, let your ideas flow freely first, then refine them later.
- Be okay with looking foolish. Most people care more about appearing perfect than actually getting results. But here’s the thing: you can’t get good at anything without making mistakes – that’s precisely how we learn. My early attempts at weightlifting were awful, my first writings were cringe-worthy, and my initial ideas in meetings often raised eyebrows. But you can’t move forward if you don’t take that first awkward step. Keep practicing, and you’ll steadily improve.
- Always be open to getting better. Once you find something that works, it’s tempting to think you’ve found the ultimate solution. But almost always, there’s room for improvement. Take Jiro Ono, the renowned sushi chef. He’s been making sushi for over 50 years, is now 96, and his restaurant has been called the "world’s best" countless times. Yet, he still constantly finds new ways to perfect his craft every single day. Keep striving for improvement.
Sometimes, you’ll need to choose between feeling good right now and making real progress. Intense moments can feel fantastic: a strenuous workout, a passionate experience, or an all-nighter to perfect a project. In these moments, you feel incredibly productive and powerful, like you’ve moved mountains. But often, these are just brief bursts. Consider a faucet: a full stream for a minute gives you a few glasses of water. But a single drip every ten seconds, over a month, adds up to a massive 18 gallons. That’s the power of slow and steady. As James Clear wisely observes, "Intensity makes a good story. Consistency makes progress." This idea might sound a bit dull, but you truly need to embrace the "boring" aspects. Significant achievements demand a lot of consistent effort. For instance, it took me years and hundreds of articles before my writing career really started to grow. You can’t just sit around waiting for a flash of inspiration to produce that one perfect piece that changes everything. If you have big goals, you won’t achieve them all at once; consistency is the real game-changer.
If you’re serious about reaching your goals, here are some practical principles to follow:
- Find something you can do every single day. If your chosen task is so demanding that you can only manage it once a week, you’ll likely struggle with consistency. Can you dedicate an hour to your side project, express appreciation for your partner daily, or take a short walk? If so, great! If not, find a smaller, more manageable action you can commit to daily and stick with it. Get into a regular routine before you try to perfect it.
- Doing something is always better than doing nothing. Avoid the dangerous "all-or-nothing" trap. You won’t always hit your targets perfectly. Sometimes, you’ll have to settle for doing only half of what you planned, and that’s perfectly fine. When it comes to building consistent habits, showing up repeatedly is far more important than performing perfectly every time.
- Learn to love the journey. Changing your habits, forming new routines, and seeing real results takes time, often months. You have to put in the effort to get things moving, like pushing an airplane until it gains enough speed to take off. You need to find ways to stay motivated until these new behaviors become second nature. Embrace the process itself. Can you make each effort a little better, boost your productivity slightly, or make your interactions more meaningful? As Bill Walsh famously put it, "The score takes care of itself." Focus on the process, and the results will follow.
Don’t get caught up in the narrative your life is creating. For example, a few years ago, I dropped out of a respected Master’s program to become a full-time writer. My advisor, my mom, and my grandma were all strongly against it. Two years later, I was making more money than I would have in a typical job, proving them wrong. Then, a year ago, I went through a very difficult breakup, but I managed to recover and get back on track. Earlier this year, I achieved a dream by moving to a tropical island, living close to the beach. Shortly after, however, my business completely failed, forcing me to start all over again. Life will constantly unfold in unexpected ways, writing its own story. Don’t let yourself get too distracted or overwhelmed by it.
To achieve true success, remember to cultivate a beginner’s mind: explore every possibility, be brave enough to look foolish, and always seek ways to get better. Prioritize consistency over intense bursts of effort. Find small actions you can commit to daily, always do something rather than nothing, and truly embrace the journey. If you follow these principles, success will naturally follow – and then, you’ll have an authentic story to tell.